U.S. Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood said that $1.2bn in high speed rail funds originally designated for Wisconsin and Ohio will be redirected to states "eager" to develop faster-rail corridors.
Great job, Ray.
Let's start by asking this question: why do we need high speed rail in either Ohio or Wisconsin? If for no other reason to leave those states as quickly as possible? Was LeBron looking for a fast getaway last summer? Is there really a large contingent of Wisconsin cows, who, having seen the "Happy Cows (of California)" add campaign which are looking to make a break for the better clime and lifestyle? Did we just need another "Black Hole of Calcutta" to flush money down in order to satisfy the union vote in those two left-leaning states? Did the Army run out of $100 hammers that they needed to buy? Did Harry Reid have no other pork barrel legislation he needed to attach? I mean, really.
On the back of what massive commutation needs would it make sense to filter $1.2bn in high speed rail funds to those two states?
Columbus, OH does post as the 16th largest city in The United States and Milwaukee comes in at number 26, but then you have to hold your breath (both literally and figuratively) to number 43 where Cleveland posts, as the next largest city in the two states. Even combining these 3 great metropolises, one only gets a rough population of 1.8mm people (unless you include the metro areas, in which case you get a lot more boarded up and foreclosed properties than you do people). According to the Wisconsin Agricultural Statistics Service there are 1.2mm cows in Wisconsin, giving people a real run for the money. Maybe the money would be better spent on a range of activities for the misguided cheese head youths to ensure the "tipping" phenomenon does not create some sort of bovine backlash (the horror of a milky "Planet of the Apes" being my great concern).
As a native New Englander, who has worked in New York and London and who spends a significant amount of time navigating the areas around Los Angeles and San Francisco (a traffic nightmare for those from such sleepy paces as Racine and Toledo); I truly cannot fathom (well, that's not entirely true given my heartfelt love of our current government) why anyone would consider pouring money into a superfast rail alternative through such desolate states? The Pretenders always sing about "getting back to Ohio" and all I can ever hope is they get there and stop singing about it. An overweight comedian (Drew Carey) made a career out of poking fun at his home city of Cleveland by painting it in such an appallingly bad light that it actually was funny. Anyone who has ever spent the night there knows, having seen the show, the meaning of irony. Cincinnati is just as bad - Kentucky without the bourbon (and the intimate family relations). And, do not forget Ohio's biggest city, Columbus. It ties us right to Wisconsin as its nickname is "Cow town" (I always thought that "Cow town" was Ft Worth, TX, but evidently Columbus claimed it first. Needless to say I'd rather be in Texas). Wisconsin gives us Milwaukee which gets a pass for all the beer; and, in theory, a useful application of rail, keeping us from driving, but probably better applied at normal speed (the cleaning bill for all the drunks on high speed being an issue). Behind Milwaukee, though we drop to Madison, Green Bay and then…Wait for it, Kenosha. Not a lot to work with here.
So, as the learned gentleman from Peoria, Il (Mr. LaHood) now makes his decision, I am forced to ask what is next? A couple billion for a ferry in Nebraska?
No comments:
Post a Comment