The Derision

"Come on baby,

Do you want to dance

Come one everybody

You've gotta take a chance

Come on baby

Do you wanna dance

come on everybody

You've got to take a chance".

Just warming you up to the sounds of Gloria Estefan and her aptly located "Sound Machine". I could have gone with a little Will Smith, though I am a little less partial to the rap:

"Screaming (ay, papi),

Everytime I come to town, they be spotting me,

In the drop Bentley, ain't no stopping me

So, cash in your dough

And flow to this fashion show

Pound for pound anywhere you go

Yo ain't no city in the world like this

An if you ask me how I know I gots to plead the fifth...

I'm going to Miami,

Welcome to Miami".

Anyone else embarrassed? We spent at least 30 minutes of our lives, and precious time at home with our families last night captivated by the spectacle which was "The Derision" (yes, I know Disney and ESPN preferred it billed as "The Decision").

While we sat and watched 4 talking heads, and largely guys with no sporting experience other than supporting roles on a court or a hot cellphone, I became very uncomfortable for the 20 some odd kids stuffed into the bleachers behind "The King" and the other talking head from ESPN on location in Greenwich (by the way, if Elvis is, in fact, living somewhere in a former artist colony on the coast of Australia with Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison, among others, do you think he is happy or mad that Lebron has stolen his moniker?). I worried for those poor kids, at the Greenwich, CT, Boys Club (I grew up there so don't get me wrong there is plenty of need for that particular club to enrich some wonderful and needing children's' lives, though the choice of a Boys Club in Greenwich seemed a bit ironic) as they had to endure fawning corporate sponsorship, inane questions and the ever-escalating drama of the run up to Lebron's big announcement. I became more uncomfortable as ESPN panned away and they sat quietly while the corporate sponsors all made their pitches with witty commercials (the best was actual the Denzel Washington voice over of his Oscar acceptance speech with some seedy elementary school stage in the back round, noting support for the Boys and Girls clubs - very cleaver). I sat glued watching those kids and the "King"; and then it happened, Lebron made his choice: South Beach, parties with Madonna, a guest spot with Crockett & Tubbs. "Going to Miami. Getting jiggy with it"

Afterwards, Lebron had the audacity to say: "I wanted to do what was best for Lebron James...At the end of the day I feel awful". Guess what, Lebron, no one cares how you feel. We especially like it when you refer to yourself in the third person (there are some wonderfully notable and colourful characters in history who have had a habit of doing that).

239,000 in Cleveland get to wake up this morning and rehash your painstaking "decision" and subsequent "angst" over and over again on local and national news, while you, by all reports, will be sitting with your couple hundred closest friends in the cabanas at some swank South beach hotel which you booked in advance. I am sure they will feel better that you feel "awful". [Then, again, it is Cleveland, so from a sporting perspective they have to be used to last minute let downs at this point - call John Elway, among others, if you need some brush up help on this point]. Heck, just remember they have to wake up in Cleveland this morning.

I feel awful for those 20 odd kids who got to spend an hour, after most of their bed time's, last night seeing just how screwed up the world, and our country's, priorities are.

Stewardess, I'd like another mojito on the flight into Dade County. Thanks.